FunHouse
by Forced Smile
Summary: Damn it, he was EVERYWHERE. Himself, being he. Damn Joker. OU, Batman x Joker, for PiraTheSarcastic


Disclaimer: Batman, Joker ect., all belong to DC. I claim only the writing, not the characters/designs.

Oneshot I made for Pira, she loves these guys, (and so do I.) This was fun to write, and helped me out of my writing slump, so without further adu, FUNHOUSE! : D

**FunHouse**

* * *

"What is this, Joker!?" came a disgruntled shout, which echoed eerily off the vacant and reflective walls. The caped crusader, known as the Batman, was speeding his ways through the seemingly endless cavern of mirrors- occasionally speeding right into a wall in which he would curse and turn around- searching for the high-pitched cackling voice of an insane murderer, with greasy green hair and a purple suit, who's eyes were traced with black and lips were scarred with red. When this man's merry laughter only intensified at Batman's almost rhetorical question, Batman was seeing red. "DAMN IT!" he boomed as he sped face first into yet another mirror.

"Why Batman," the laughter died down while the Joker, who was obviously enjoying himself, gasped out these words through his chuckles, "It's a game. A _funhouse_, are you telling me you're not _enjoying_ yourself?" his chortling continued thrice the strength.

"Stop playing with me!" shouted the man in black leather as he zoomed, once _again_, into his own reflection. He was _never_ going to a funhouse again.

"Oh, but Batman! It's oh so much fun! You should try it yourself sometime!" cackled the voice from somewhere inside the corridors of mirrors. "Ouch, really Batman, aren't you getting tired of kissing those mirrors? Perhaps something a bit softer would be better?"

"For the love of- SHUT UP ALREADY!" the Batman shouted, slamming his fist against one of the mirrors he passed and shattering it into thousands of glimmering shards which several of which decided they'd embed themselves in the caped man's hand, making hiss in pain, he never paused his stride though.

"Oh come on, if your going to hurt yourself at least spare the mirrors! I can't do my make-up without them my dear Batty!"

"SHUT UP!" after maybe half an hours of running through the halls of mirrors he came right back to where he had started the journey, upon discovering this he smashed the mirror to his left, which, like the first, shattered around him, but instead of revealing a wall where the mirror once was, a door-less arch was in it's place. "…What?!" Batman hissed to himself, angered at the fact he couldn't even tell he had been RIGHT next to what he was looking for the entire time. "JOKER!" he strode into the dimly lit room, bat-a-rang at the ready, frantically searching it for any sign of purple and green, which he quickly found, standing at the top of a staircase, three flights above him.

It was grinning mischievously and soon after his where-abouts had been located, it began clapping, slow and loud. Then the purple suited, green haired man began to descend the stairs.

"Well done, well done. Well done, sir." he sing songed. He snapped, and almost immediately, several thugs sprinted out of the room atop the stairs wielding guns, which quickly targeted the scowling man wielding only a bat-a-rang. "So, did you enjoy my funhouse? I worked on it especially for you." he smirked, beginning the second staircase and keeping eye contact with his guest.

"It was bucket loads of fun. Tons." he replied with an equal smirk.

"Oh good! I'm glad! You know, you ran into the mirrors forty-seven times, broke two with your fist, and three with your face. I'm really glad you did like it though." he chuckled darkly, removing a knife from his pocket. "What part did… you like…. best?" he slowed down his words and he stepped three steps at a time, and began his way down the last half stair-case.

"The part where I killed you!" the Batman lunged forward into a sprint, throwing the bat-shaped boomerang bomb at the green-haired clown, who easily dodged it by hopping off the rail of the stair case. Bullets began being fired and were speeding past the two on the floor of the room. Batman aimed a punch towards the green-haired fighter opposite him, who ducked and activated the blades at the tips of his black, formal shoes. He spun on the ground, knocking into the Batman's shin and causing him to stumble, giving the Joker enough time to rise from the floor and aim a kick at the Batman's head. The man clad I black easily caught and deflected the blow, spinning the Joker into a nearby wall, who slid into a slump. Batman quickly pulled a small canister from his tool-belt and launched it onto the balcony where bullets were being shot from like rain. The canister released the second it hit the floor on the balcony and the thugs were rendered unconscious almost immediately from the toxin circulating in their lungs.

Batman made his way to the green-haired clown slumped in on himself in the corner, and bent down to inspect him more closely. He gasped in shock as he was pulled down by his arm and his eyes grew wide when he felt the cold metal of a knife be placed against his throat. _Crap_.

The Joker clicked in tongue in disappointment and pulled the Batman's head just below his shoulder. "Batman Batman Batman! I'm so disappointed in you! Really now? Me getting knocked out so quickly in a fresh fight? The adrenaline itself is enough to keep me awake. The _excitement_ itself. Even you know me better then _that_." he whispered the last sentence next to the Batman's ear, and almost to prove a point, licked the shell of the Batman's ear, sending a violent shiver ripping through the Batman. He began to struggle.

"Let me go."

"Why?" The Joker teased, keeping a firm grip. This time playing with the lobe of the Batman's ear.

Damn it, Batman could _feel_ that bastard smirking.

Then, the Joker was spinning the Batman in his grip. Before he could protest, he was occupied, well, at least his lips were. His mind was blank, and his struggles ceased, and the Joker was holding him up. The Joker's lips were surprisingly soft and tasted of too much lipstick… and was that cotton candy. His mind was spinning and was so _confused_. He was still in thought when the Joker had removed his lips, when his arms had gone slack, and when the knife no longer threatened the Batman's life. The Batman remained where he was though, and so did Joker. Finally, when the Batman had regained is senses, he bolted from the mans lap and unsheathed a bat-arang, pointing it at the man slumped below him.

"Go ahead an kill me." he mumbled. "I got what I needed." he smirked up at the man, his mischievous smile widening as the silence continued.

The Batman let his arm fall limp and gave the other man a hard-glare. The Joker's eyes widened in shock at the display, and his gaze questioned him. "Not today." he said simply, grudgingly. Then he spun on his heel and strode out of the funhouse, straight into the night.

Back in the room, the Joker chuckled loud and clear, the sound reverberating off the walls and halls of reflection.

"This," he cackled, clutching his sides and stabbing the floor with his knife repeatedly, as one might do with his fist. "is going," his laughter was high and mocking, and terrified all who heard it as it rang through the city, Eventually his laughter died, and he was wiping his tears. He collected himself, and his voice became dark and eerie as he mumbled the last words of his sentence. "to be _fun_."


End file.
